Awake.

Are you always thinking ahead of what you want to say? Are you always planning ahead? How is that done well while still needing to be present if you’re always thinking ahead? To make sure you’re always saying the right thing so that you don’t come across as an idiot.

Most of the time when you’re thinking ahead, which for me I FEEL is more often lately, I’m really adding pressure here on myself, trying to think before speaking.

It’s tough though cos what’s is the healthy line to doing this? When am I putting too much of pressure on myself?

When I’m supposed to also just BE.

Those two pieces of healthy advice contradict one another. Think before you speak. Just Be Yourself.

Be authentically yourself.

A good friend of mine used to say this and she was the beast of this quote, this statement. She was so authentically herself and it was a joy to experience and be around. She is the type of human you would want to keep in your life and it would crush you if you lost it. Which happened to me, but that’s a story for another time. Or maybe not…some things are also best to keep to ones self until it’s resolved in real life. Real time. In my journey this still needs to be accomplished. So that’s all I will say about that. For now. I hope.

As I was saying, be authentically yourself!

I have loved this statement ever since she said this and this was in our younger 20s. It’s such a simple but profound piece of advice, or type of giving in to yourself. Being deep into the know of YOU, and I mean, do you know exactly who you are? Really?

If yes, I commend you and look forward to getting to where you are. Well done.

I’ve been patting myself on the back for the past month.

I’ve been so proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished, and I’m a bit nervous to share it on here in fear that I will be judged as claiming notions when it is so brand new, but I also want to motivate myself to know I am avidly trying to make better choices. I learned from Robin Sharma that it takes 66 days to develop a routine and well so far, I have been figuring out what to add in, what to take out, what works for me and what I should adjust. If you have anything to add that helps you, please comment and I will give it a try!

Thank you to those who have taught me these methods and influenced me in them. Thank you to those who told me of them before, but I wasn’t ready to take action until now. The best thing about life is that it’s never too late to start trying. Currently I have been doing the following.

1. Meditation daily

2. Sleeping early – 21:30, the weekends I cheat on this but I still aim to be up early to have a whole day to myself.

3. Waking up early – 5:10

4. Drinking more water, but this I’m still working on being consistent in. It’s a daily reminder.

5. I could be better about the food. I’m not too sure if I’m also being to hard on myself about this, but I’m evaluating as I’m going on what works best. From podcasts with nutritionists and doctors, I’ve been following the advice to eat things and evaluate its effect on my body and mind. Like coffee for example, I don’t need to drink this every morning and neither do I need it in the morning. I already have a lot of energy in the morning, my body wakes up at it’s own pace, and I help to aid that with 10 minutes of yoga, or exercise and at least 2 hours into my day and work, I am awake. Without the coffee. If I do want coffee, I have it at lunch time and this is still not an every day thing as coffee every day, especially Vietnamese coffee which is where I am currently, is my favourite but it’s rich and strong and too much of this is not a good thing. I notice when I get headaches, so it’s not a necessary drink for every day. More an enjoyment. I have been drinking more sugarcane juice and this has so many benefits to it from what I have read and it’s been a great alternative, but again also not for everyday use. As I am sure you’ve heard, balance is key and this goes for everything in your life.

6. I’ve been making more effort into what I’m wearing. Except the shoes. Ugh it’s been the shittest part cos they’re new shoes, so I’m sure you all know those situations. Bloody hell. I can’t wait til they wear out a bit cos they’re nice shoes! But I prefer sneakers. Sneakers all the way for everything or barefoot when we are inside cos everything’s feels so much calmer when barefoot on the right platform of course.

I’ve been enjoying teaching sometimes without shoes on. I definitely feel more grounded. More in tune with myself and the students. More me. Yeah.

7. I’ve given more effort on my makeup and my face. Although I feel I could be lighter sometimes. I prefer daily light make up unless it’s an outing or event. However I am still also learning about different products and what to use on my face.

So yeah I’ve done a balance of this too. Taking care of my face, my body.

8. I’ve been alternating between exercise, yoga and walking in the morning or the evening . I definitely fluctuate with this and am figuring out what works for me and what time I’d like to do it. I can tell you that my time outdoors and in nature has always been fundamental in my connection to myself. Just looking up to the sky has its wonders, but the trees, the grass, the flowers and water around us is much to be grateful for. I am hoping to do more nature exploring in other Vietnamese provinces soon.

9. I’ve been looking around more than looking at my screen. I have actually been checking my time activity on this at the end of every week and I am proud of myself for this.

10. I’ve been talking to myself more. Listening. Asking questions. I’ve been listening to podcasts on my way to work and back, from Jay Shetty, Robin Sharma, Dr Joe Dispenza, Ed Mylett, Lewis Howes, Mel Robbins to name a few. I’ve been writing. As you can see. However, writing pages and pages of thoughts and unpacking a lot that I couldn’t do by just thinking it. It needed to be written, for me to go further into why things are the way they are. Why I am the way I am and what my unresolved issues really are deep down and not just at face value. I have pushed so much under the carpet, but no more.

11. I want to add acts of service in here, as has been taught to me by many influences in my life growing up and as an adult, and has been a recent reminder again, by Jay Shetty’s book, Think Like A Monk which I just finished. But I will discuss more of this when it comes more into fruition. Yet this is a big thing. For all of humankind.

I’ve also been watching Grey’s anatomy from the beginning, and this has been some of the best free therapy I needed. When Grey’s aired for the first time in 2005, I was entering my last 2 years of high school and entering into university and through the years, Grey’s was its own therapy. I learned and could relate to some of the lessons taught, and learned more on relationship discussions, I definitely loved the monologues of the show too. However, I was fresher then, and watching the show now, as a 35 year old, with a lot of life experience/lessons/trauma/relationships romantic and friend wise/work politics/death, the show hits on a completely different level. I may have cried a lot my first time watching it, I mean haven’t we all, Shonda kills us in the feels, but now my tears stem from triggers, relations and reflection. Not only those but it’s been inspiring, funny and quality viewing. For me at least. 🙂

Anyhoo, this whole post is for me – I want to look back at this one day and say hey look how far you’ve come. I’m trying to say this to myself now too. But this is for me. My release and me patting myself on the pack for some really nice lifestyle changes. I do need to do more but for now. It’s a wonderful start.

It’s been a long time coming. I’ve been on autopilot for years and I have finally woken up to press manual on my journey. I’ve missed out on a few years, and I’m so grateful to be here again. Present.

How’s your healing been? Do you struggle with some of my open thoughts? or do you have methods of healing that’s been working for you? Please share it, I am here to learn.

Ultimately, just remember every day to choose YOU. In all your actions, in all the food you eat, in what you say in the choices YOU make, remember it comes from YOU. Do better for you and you’ll do right by all around you.